GuardianDevils

hoho… i’m back blogging here again. the reason is bcuz prolly no one read or post comments on it after i wrote something.. so, tot i come back here n get some responds IF THERE ARE ANY. at least could get some self-esteem back a lil, IF there are any comments. gaga…

nah!! i don’t really care if there’s any1 who read my blog. wait a min, who doesn’t rite… if not, y start 1? u could keep it to urself, or write on a journal o somthing like tat. not post it, n let every1 read it. -_-” i don’t know wat i’m crappin also.

anyway.. had a late dinner just now. went out to eat at Steven’s corner, ALONE. how sad huh. order maggie goreng sotong wit fried egg. it took me almost 45 mins to finish tat plate of noodles. it’s a record for me, usually i’l wallop d whole within 10 mins.

but b4 my maggie goreng came, i oredi finish 2 cigarretes. yea yea.. i smoke. but i don’t have the urge to smoke like some smokers. actually, i used to hate ppl smoke, especially when they puff d smokes to where u are sitting. still do. but… nvm, no point explaining, cuz smoking is oredi bad, no point giving all sorts of excuses rite. i got a super sensitive nose, if the place is stuffy, or full of smoke, it does get my nose irritated. watery eyes, i’l start sneezing non-stop, and ruined my whole day. so, y do i still smoke then? i reli hav no idea. as i said, no urge to do so. im having holidays now, so shouldn’t hav any stress wut. zzz… oh ya, i sat there for bout 2 hours, n half a packet is gone. crazy huh… i know. i feel bad bout it now.

hmm.. sometimes life is like tat huh, v tend to regret d things tat v have done. certain things u can change the outcome of it, n certain things is just no turning back after d things oredi been said n done. well, i have done many stupid things in my life tat i’ve regret. for example, back in high school, i change my mind to join d scouts grp, where i oredi decide to join d school band, if i did not change my mind, i would have gone to japan, australia and perform in merdeka n d commonwealth. n in studies, if i could just make up my mind wat i wanna do from the very begining, i would have grad by now. instead i’m startin all over again. iput it bluntly, i’m fickle minded person.

when it comes to r’ships, its even worst. i’ve hurt them not just once, but on many occasions. u will probably say tat i’m an asshole, n doesn’t deserve any of them. i agree wit ya. totally. i know tat i couldn’t heal d wound to those i’ve hurt, as there will always be a scar. neither i would want to ask for their forgiveness. i wouldn’t dare.

zzz… don’t know how on earth it end up with r’ships… suppose to  be talkin bout wat i’ve done during the 1st day of CNY.

zzz… i don’t know how to continue anymore… wat a bad come back after all.

happy new yr everyone

hey, i’m changing my blog. no longer using friendster blog.

if ya wanna kepoh bout my stuff… just drop by n visit here

here i am, sittin in front d comp after meetin my fren. can’t really sleep, prolly due to d tea i drank n d nap i took tis afternoon. just feel like bloggin for d sake of bloggin.

many events hav been happenin ard me lately. frens i know, goin thru some rough patches. i myself also hav not been too great lately. but of cuz, there’re happy moments as well. o’wise, i’ll be dreadin to hang myself. (hmm.. dunno y i would tink bout tat)

d most common yet complicated stuff goin thru each n every1 of our lifes r RELATIONSHIP wit another person. heck, even monks n nuns hav contact wit another person. tis is unavoidable. but, y does time n time agn v get bug down by tis matter. even thou some of us hav gone thru it numerous times. v all know tat, there’ll be sweet moments b4 n startin of every relationship. n bitter at the end. unless both parties settle it in a peaceful n mutual way. if not, chances r, it’s gonna be rather awful.

yet, sometimes certain things is just out of our grabs. it is impossible to control d feelings of another person. v can’t force them to like us. just like u can’t force a boy to eat spinach, not every1 of us is POPEYE. heck, is not like i want every1 tat i meet likes me. I WISH. but it’s just impossible. yet, i’ll make an effort to not hate me, at least.

it is sad when u like a person, n hoping tat person feel d same way too. but turns out not to be. it is a pity. let’s turn the coin over, n let’s look it a thrid party pt of view. d things they do, how they act n react towards each other is really a sight to behold. it is so cute, n funny in a way. try to observe ur frens ard u tat mite be goin thru tis. u wish u could be involve in those situation urself as well. tat is IF the process of ‘pikat-ing’ goin on. d things d boys would do, or in some cases d gals. it is really farni. again, i wish to press tat i’m talkin in a 3rd party pt of view. d flirtin, d depress mode, o wateva it’s goin thru. d ups n downs, its really exciting n sureal. just like in d movies.

i’m not tryin to poke fun of anybody o anything. i’m just tryin to say tat al these things, sometimes v should try not to take it too harshly. if this r’ship don’t work out, surely at tat moment we’ll feel depress. but sooner o later, v need to move on. other marvellous ppl will come into our lives. n who knows, u mite hav a great relationship, if not fall in luv. unless, u want to lock urself in a cage, n isolate urself frm d outside world. if not, d process will go on n on n on, until u found tat right person. heck, i even see uncles n aunties in thier fifities goin out to hav a gud time, meetin ppl. whether they r divorce o single, i dunno. tat’s a different matter.

it is always easier being said than done. it requires a great deal of amt effort n courage to accomplish it. but i blv, there’s always light at the end of the tunnel.

ur silky n shining hair, ur tender skin eva so soft to be touch,
ur blue-ish brown eyes, somethin tat makes u unique,
u moan n scream all nite long, irritates me,
but it’s ok… i understand.
u crawl all over my body, lickin toes n finger tips, notti notti…
but it’s ok… i understand.
occaisionaly u bit me, tat’s too much, n i’ll test tat butt.

hmm… staring at u, i just wonder. as u enter my life, will u giv me headaches, o will u giv me joyfulness. sigh.. i’m havin a headache now, as i dunno wat shud i call u.

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so, watdaya think..??  any names u could come up wit? if i tink it’s nice, i’ll use it.

wat if, some1 close to ur heart,  n u care for alot but, d other party doesn’t take u as it is. if there are problems, he/she doesn’t come to confine u, knowing tat u’ll always be there to listen, to console, to cheer up him/her. yet, turns to anotehr person for help. hurts huh…

sigh.. wish v could be go back to d old days. heck.. there’re no old days.. v were nv really close, nv really talk things thru. nv had a real conversation. all v did was argue, blamin each other so on n so fort. sometimes i wish i could turn back time, n make up for lost time. but i know its useless thinkin tat way, at least for now. sometimes, how i wish tat person nv appear in our lives. but on d other hand, it’s selfish for me to think so. if not for that person, i dun think tat our lives would be any difference.

now tat i know… i’m still confuse, still lost in d woods, as in how to do, how to react in tis situation. can d situation change? can it be improve? it has been happenin for a long time… it is like a silent killer virus. destroyin it.

*staring at the empty sky hopin d answer wil drop*

u may be beautiful, it is a gift, not a privilege.

u may be cute, it is adorable, but in a ugly way.

u may be attractive, but that doesn’t mean u can do as u wish.

u say u tressure friendship, but to me, it’s just crap.

u say u tressure family, but to me, i don’t think so.

u say thank u, but do u mean it.

u made promises, but hav ya granted even 1.

it just doesn’t make sense, if v just say for the sake of sayin, do for the sake of doin, n pretend some1 v r not. y wanna put urself in a position tat in d end will think it just full of crap. full of shit. 1 time, 2 times, 3 times. how long could tis last. ppl hate most when being betray, being used, being cheated. d feelin is just unbearable.

sounds serious huh… it’s just a tot.

‘Who you choose to be around you lets you know who you are’ sounds familar? got d quote from the movie ‘Toyko Drift’.

i think it got some truth in it. let me explain n back my point a lil. eva heard tat v tend to grow up n be like our parents, either 1 if not both of them. i’m talkin bout character wise, of cuz d features hav to be near to them, otherwise u mite got pick up fr some where. LOLZ! jk…

anyway, bac to my point. just take a moment to think bout it, ur circle of frens. d ppl ard u… u r very comfortable wit them rite. now, think bout their character, attitude, n other wat not. is there any familiarity? surely there r some tat get on ur nerves, n would like to avoid them as much as possible. but concentrate on those who r close to u… u tend to see they are quite similar to u in a way. mayb d way u talk, d clothin u wear, o mayb d way u laugh.

strange huh? y isit so? it’s bcuz at the back of our mind, it sorta ‘program’ who u r… n u tend to attract to those ppl. 

i’m still tryin to figure out y… if u got any answers, o tots. dun hold bac n let me know ya.

‘relationships are all bout waitin for some1 tat special to come along to sweep ur feet off the floor’

i’m no expert in tis field… but seeing ppl ard me, u get to c some pretty nice stuff. some turn out alrite, n u wish them all d best n happiness in their relationship. some.. on d other hand, well, just din turn out wat they expect of. some say tat r’ship is like a gamble. knowin well tat person feels rite bout u, is not all guarantee tat d ‘bet’ is a sure win.

liking a person, yet tat person doesn’t giv any response… tat’s is an ouch. liking a person, n when u bout to express ur luv, tat person tells u, he/she has a bf/gf. tat’s double ouch. d pain n feelings, sum up, u feel like stabbin tat person, kill his/her gf/bf, or u urself jump into d sea. tat feeling hurts.

yes, tat feelings hurts. many say tat wounds may heal, yet there would always be a scar. i wouldn’t denied tat. it does. n u could nv erase d memory of the past. to me, it helps us to grow more mature, more experience, more stronger. well, it depends how u see it. just like riding a bike, u fall a couple of times, u get up n try again. after a while, u’ll be able to ride smoothly. r’ships r also somethin like tat. tat doesn’t mean, u won’t fall. u MITE fall, mayb bcuz of a rock, mayb bcuz d road is too dark, n felt into d drain. there’re many factors. like i said, depends on how u see it.

i’ll continue another day.. my brain is jam, my body stoning. geezz.. i dunno wat i’m crappin.. just tryin to write bout wat i feel at tis moment.

gud nite.

hey fello bloggers n readers… it’s been a while i have not blog. today post is bout the trip to alor setar and penang. if ya not interested u can just close d window. come bec when i write somethin more ‘interestin’ =)

hmm.. where to start.. ? i sux at startin stuff, gettin the ball rollin, if ya know wat i mean.

kk… v left for alor setar on sat after havin brunch at 1 of the food court in sg buloh, i think. oh ya.. i 4got to intro who is goin. there’s janness, boon leng, chen tat, fui yee, adrina, eric n mua (the oldest) sob sob… 2 cars.

d drive up to alor setar was kinda boring, but v hav our share of laughs wit janness, ah tat, n myself. but i’m not so sure bout the atmosphere fr d other car. v took turns to drive up, bcuz ah tat said he was bored of sleepin. zzZZ…  v took less than 4 hours to reach there. yea… imagine how fast v ‘flew’… madness. not very fast only, bout 150 tops. lolz… (dun let any of ur parents read tis, o’wise i’ll be so dead…)

upon reachin there, i’m pretty tired, especially i slept bout 5 d nite b4 v left. shh..!! v rest for a while, n went out for dinner near by alor setar port. d food was quite nice, v hav 8 course dinner for 7 of us. crazy. janness’s parents bought us dinner tat nite. so nice of them. tq auntie, uncle. hehe… after dinner, janness was tellin scary stories tat happened along d road on our way home. at 1 time, i shouted just after jan finish his story, n scared d gals. it was so funny. yea.. i’m mean. after tat, v played some card games n tell ghost stories… every1 laugh till thier jaws drop. d funny part was tat i was suppose to tell a ghost story but end up tellin a joke instead. malu gile… v were suppose to sleep in the rooms provided by jann, but d weather was so humid, tat all of us end up sleepin in the livin room. jann n fui yee stayed up chit chattin till wee hours in d mornin… hmm.. i dunno wat’s wit them laa… but i slept thru in d middle of their conversation.

skip skip…

v reach penang bout 12 plus, n pick my fren, kar sang fr USM. he sorta our tour guide o somethin.hehe…  takin us places to look see, n makan. so nice of him. nah.. jus kiddin, takkan u reach a place where ur gud fren is there n u dun call them out rite. f’more, been quite sometime v din meet up. meet up do wat? gossip la…  guys also can gossip k..lolz.. somehow, i felt that he’s been bothered with assignments n stuff, doesnt seems rite. n i din wanted to push for it. neway, u take care man.

skip.. skip… summarize…

v visited a few places such as; kek lok si, see turtles swimin ard in the pool. (wu liao) went to d beach at crown princess, batu ferringi pasar malam, ate at gurney road, n drop by at d jeti. after tat, i send KS bec to his campus. thx for everythin man. after sendin KS bec, boon leng went back to gurney to meet up with d gang for karaoke. on d way, v were lost, n went roundin ard d whole island. lolz…

oh ya.. i miss out soemthin, i recieve a call fr dad, n he drop d bomb, askin me to return home a day early. cuz v hav planned to extend another day. b4 i manage to call him, he chop me off 1st. -___-”’ so, v need to reschdule our plans. zzzZZ

skip skip…

d next day, v went to search for the famous ‘dao sa pia’. went roundin d whole island agn, n finally manage to find it. jan told us there’s us another 1 shop which d ‘dao sa pia’ also very nice. so, i ask d worker of their rivals shop, (paiseh, paiseh), but she willingly told us wehre is it. how kind of her. but dunno in her heart she got curse us anot laa..

b4 1 pm, v went back to alor setar for steamboat. yea… just for the steamboat. cuz jan’s mom has prepared it b4 v came up to alor setar. how sweet of her. d gang went to a waterfall nearby janness’s hse. i din, cuz too tired. (always want to sleep) -__-” but when i woke up, they tak balik lagi. sienz.. so, i msg them to come pick me up. lolz… v went to a sawah padi to cam whore there. hehe.. (will post some of the pics soon)

later v went bec home to have our steamboat. it was great… i ate so much, till wanna burst liao.. bout 8 pm, v left janness’s house to head back to kl. i miss home. hehe… i suspect d gals n janness will sleep, but v end up talkin, talkin till v reach kl. haha.. gud for me la… keeps me away as well, n got ppl teman me.

overall, it was a nice trip. d bond among d grp hav been pull closer. no ‘love sparks’ happened tis time round, but there’re a few moments where some of us got’over-boiled’ lolz… althou, i’m d uncle in d grp, but i nv feel left out. mayb bcuz i’m also childish as well. haha… thx for everythin kiddosss….

sigh… bump my car again… sigh… wonder how many times have i knock or being bump by some1. jeez.. this needs to stop. its more serious compare with d minors 1 i hav last time. but not tat serious till need to put at the workshop for a 2 weeks.

mom said tat tis r signs i should take note, i shud rectify my drivin b4 something big o serious happen. guess i shud start doin so. am i really tat bad at drivin? or am i really tat reckless? s**t… i really need to be more careful.

things i shudn’t do while drivin:

1) no more sms-ing

2) no more day dreamin

3) no more thinkin bout gals

4) no more lookin to d side to peep whether d lady driver is cun not. lolz..kiddin

guess u wouldn’t recommend me to compete in formula 1, or nascars race huh… how bout go-kart, ok bo? got safety helmet, wouldn’t be tat bad rite, even if i crash. lolz..

any1 dare to sit my car in d future? dun worry ya.. i promise to be gud… n drive safely. hehe…

drive safely ya all… life’s precious. (omg kev, u givin advise? who would listen la… -__-” )